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Duckwater Dave - An artifact of a different time. A time when you could buy a car that runs for a hundred dollars, and get a good meal for a buck fiddy. Highly unintelligent, his two outstanding characteristics are his extreme physical laziness (he spends most of his time sleeping, reading detective stories and eating, unless otherwise challenged) and his dim-witted mind.

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Store Clerk Accepts Fake $200 Bill, Makes Change

Buffet, Nevada - At first glance it looked like the real thing, so store clerk Kathryn Phiggy was happy to accept the $200 bill as payment -- and even make change.

The bill did carry a picture of President Bush, but he is not one of the presidents who appear on the U.S. currency and in any case there is no such thing as a $200 bill. That did not stop Miss. Phiggy, daughter of Sheriff Elmer Phiggy, who works at Fashion Mart, a women's clothing store in Buffet, Nevada from taking the bill in payment for an item costing $99, she also gave change to Miss Troutwyler, said Peter Martin, a spokeswoman for the Buffet Sheriffs department.

"Anyone with any bit of knowledge should have recognized that it wasn't the real thing," Martin said.

Miss Troutwyler, who was located by police on the basis of information from the clothing store, was charged on Wednesday with forgery, theft by deception, and receiving stolen property.

The bill was probably a joke rather than a forgery, said Martin. "It was some sort of gag money," he said.

He didn't know whether Miss. Phiggy still works at Fashion Mart.

Urine Sample Blows Up Circle7 Microwave

A Buffet City woman was cited Thursday for allegedly causing damage to a Circle7 store's microwave oven when she tried to heat a urine sample, authorities said. A store clerk reported seeing the suspect, identified as Linda Phigg, 26, place something in the Buffet City, NV., store’s microwave before hearing a “loud bang” seconds later, Buffet City’s WWDJ-TV reported, citing a Buffet City Police Department report. The clerk reportedly told to clean up the mess or she would alert police. Phigg then “wiped out the microwave onto the floor” with napkins and left, Pueblo’s KOAA-TV reported, also citing the police report. The clerk then called police and told them she noticed “yellow liquid dripping from the microwave and the smell was unquestionably urine.” Police later found Phigg about a half-mile away, at a health clinic where she was waiting to undergo a physical exam and urinalysis for a potential job, according to the report.

One of the quality-check measures for a urine screening involves making sure the sample is at body temperature, or around 98.6 degrees, WWDJ-TV reported. Phigg reportedly told police that she had “cleaned up the mess and did not understand the problem.” "When I reminded her that urine blew up where people prepare their food, she told me it was not real urine," a police officer wrote in his report.

The officer said he issued Phigg a summons for damaged property after informing her that the microwave is worth $500, -TV reported. Phigg was also not allowed to take the drug test that day, WWDJ reported.

Death by Electro Stimulation

Frost Bite Falls, NV. -- Police were called to the home of Gordo Robley, 75. Mr Robley's body had been discovered wired to an Electrical apparatus and investigating officer, Juanita Phigg, at first thought that the unfortunate man had been the victim of some gangster-style torture. However, the discovery of a VHS copy of "Hot UltaVixen Nuns" and the fact that the electrodes of the home-made 'torture' apparatus were attached to Mr Robley's genitals indicated a different interpretation.

Food Fight Turns Into Gun Battle

Buffet, NV -- A family meal erupted into a gun battle after a father and son clashed over how to cook chicken. The two men argued Sunday over the best way to prepare skinless chicken for dinner.

"It started out as a physical confrontation, but it escalated until both of them were shooting at each other," Detective Sgt. Beasley of the Buffet County Sheriff's Department said.

Beasley said each man fired a .22-caliber handgun at the other. Harlen S. Robley was struck by a bullet that went through the upper part of his right ear and lodged in the back of his head. He was treated at a hospital and released. The elder Robley was not injured.

Jackie Lee Robley, 79, was charged with malicious wounding and wanton endangerment. Harlen S. Robley, 54, was charged with wanton endangerment. Their trial is set for December.

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